We hate going to events that require nametags. We don't like encouraging strangers to talk to us. Plus, we always forget to take the thing off when we walk out of whatever it was that required the nametag, so we're headed home, stopping by the grocery store, accidentally encouraging the produce manager to address us by name. Which is just creepy.

The one exception would be if you had a really long name such as Tarquin Fin-tim-lin-bin-whin-bim-lim bus stop F'tang F'tang Olé Biscuitbarrel. Or if you had something complicated you had to say with your introduction, such as, "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." Saying that over and over gets tedious (just ask Count Rugen). So in this case, we figure we can condone the use of nametags. Just this once.

Black 100% cotton shirt with white and red "Hello my name is..." sticker over the chest, with Inigo Montoya's full spiel wedged in there.